Child and Infant Ear Piercing Advice
January 24th, 2011
I answered this message:
I am looking to pierce my almost 9 month old daughters ears; I had a horrible childhood experience with piercing my ears, so I'd like to have hers done so she won't remember it. I'm having a VERY difficult time finding someone who will do the piercing. I know that she is not at the "ideal" age to have her ears pierced, but I don't want her to have to wait until she's 16 either. Is there anyone in the ND region that you can recommend that does infant piercings? I have found one business in Fargo, ND that will do it with a needle, but I prefer to go to someone affiated with APP.
Thank you!
My reply:
It is my personal and professional opinion that piercings should only be performed on consenting individuals. What is the harm in waiting and letting her decide for herself? If you can then take her to an APP member piercer, she's assured to have a better experience than you did as a child--don't you think?
The image below right has an arrow to show a common problem: placement of an ear lobe piercing done in infancy looks too low and close to the face now that the piercee is fully grown.
The image below right has an arrow to show a common problem: placement of an ear lobe piercing done in infancy looks too low and close to the face now that the piercee is fully grown.
This is what it says about the matter in my book, The Piercing Bible:Infant and Child Ear Piercing
The debate about piercing the ears of infants and children has two principal elements: the philosophical considerations, which include ideas about cultural identity and owner- ship of the body, and the practical aspects. As examples of different philosophies about body modification, Western parents readily subject their own children to bands of metal that painfully force their teeth into new positions, but they shudder to see youth of the Matseìs tribe of the Amazon sporting sticks through their pierced lips. Similarly, many people think nothing of circumcising a male baby but condemn practices like female genital cutting, or female circumcision, in which the external genitalia of an underage girl is altered, or partially or entirely removed, for cultural or religious reasons.
Every society has its own customs, standards of beauty, and marks of identity; they are part of the glue that holds groups together. Parents naturally want to adhere to established norms and create their children in their own image. Piercing the ears of young girls is a fairly established practice in the Western world, and some pierers are amenable—but no ethical piercer would consider piercing any other part of a youngster.
I will perform piercings only on individuals who specifically consent to the act and agree to comply with maintenance procedures during healing. Obviously, this includes declining to pierce babies or toddlers who are too young to grasp the situation—and all animals, of course. I will pierce the earlobes of a child who is old enough to knowingly make the request for it. He or she must also comprehend the need to keep dirty fingers away during healing and promise to abide by my instructions, usually with a parent’s help. Many of my colleagues share my standards, though some are more accommodating, and others even stricter.
If you decide to proceed with piercing the ears of your child who does not meet those common minimum requirements, one practical consideration is that you might find it difficult to locate a qualified piercer who is willing to do the job. You may be tempted to visit a jewelry kiosk or accessory store that uses an ear-piercing gun. Don’t. Your best option may be to seek a sympathetic pediatrician or dermatologist who is trained in ear piercing.
If you are interested in having your child’s ears pierced, consider the following practical matters.
• The risk of infection is high if your child is not old enough to refrain from touching the piercings, either because she is too young to understand the instructions or she does not yet have the self-discipline.
• A piercing positioned in the center of your baby’s earlobes sometimes ends up being too low or close to her face when she’s grown.
• Established earlobe piercings seldom close completely, and they do leave a permanent mark (however small) if abandoned later.
• Doctors blame the rise in nickel allergies on the popularity of ear piercings done with inferior-quality jewelry. Once they have developed, these allergies may be severe and lifelong. For more information, see “Dermatitis,” page 212.
She replied:
Thank you so much for your honest feedback! I've always thought it was really cute to see babies with their ears pierced, but knew that I only wanted her ears to be pierced with a needle and not a gun. I will end up waiting until she's older, specifically because I haven't found anyone willing to do the piercing that is a member of APP. And hopefully, like you stated, both my girls(I have another daughter that is 2) will have a more positive experience! Thank you again for you feedback :)
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Fantastic! I completely agree with Elayne and I'm so glad you decided to wait! Just one more thing to consider, while your intention was to avoid a negative experiance you forgot you were also avoiding a potentially positive one! An experience where your daughters have the opportunity to experiance the satisfaction of manifesting their own desires about their bodies. When I asked my father when I could have my ears pierced he flatly replied, "when you're 21". My mother eventually relented and they were pierced for my 6th birthday. I can't tell you how great that felt. I wanted it, I begged for it, I got it! I picked the jewellery, and spent plenty of time admiring them. I'm so glad I was able to remember having my ears pierced!
(just a couple of FYI's. They were done at the same time with two guns and aftercare was peroxide. not ideal. I commend your decision to seek out an APP piercer! 6 may be a little young, my mother was reponsible for aftercare. I did have difficulty keeping my hands off them, I think carrying a compact mirror may have helped so I could've checked them out hands free. They do sit low on my lobe, but not terribly so, although I did have space to pierce above them as well. (around 15 years old) I imagine if I wanted to strech my lobes it would be safer to use the higher piercings. I'm no expert, but I should think many childhood ear piercings are unsafe to stretch. unlike my other lobe piercings the originals have never and will never grow over.)
If only my parents could have read this. I had my ears pierced before I was even one year old and the hole is entirely too close to my face. It looks odd when I wear earrings, so I don't wear earrings. But the hole is still there, and it's basically a pointless waste.
I was pierced before the age of 1. My ears turned out fine, no crooked holes or anything, and think that I'll probably do the same for my daughter(s). Knowing my younger sisters and nieces, they love wearing earrings but would have been so scared to go through that kind of thing because of the pain factor.
I don't know what the big deal is. I've had my ears pierced literally since the day I was born and so has every girl I know. I think it's kind of a cultural thing.
Still, I can assure you that there aren't half as many risks as they claim. Literally every girl who I know has pierced ears since birth and non of them has ever had any complications with that.
"I can assure you that there aren't half as many risks as they claim."
And I can assure you Elayne knows what she's talking about. Why would you come here to try to discredit her knowledge??
I don't think it's fair or accurate to compare circumcision with female genital cutting. While it may be unfair to make that decision for your child as an infant, female circumcision involves cutting off the entire clitoris, which is more than one can say for the male equivelent. Male circumcision is most often done in a sterile, safe place by practiced professionals while the majority of females undergoing the same surgery contract serious infections and many of them die. Your overall point is extremely valid but you undermine it by including this arguement.
Sure male circumcision is done in a sterile "safe" place by "practiced professionals". You are still mutilating a child's genitals. Even more basic you are mutilating another person without their consent and that should never be okay. Whether or not it is sterile, "safe", or done by "professionals".
The point is to do anything to another person, especially if it is a permanent change, you need consent. This should be the case for all humans no matter what culture, etc. The argument is that you need consent and therefore the inclusion of male circumcision against piercing a child's ears without consent is very supportive.
I completely agree! I'd also like to point out the "sterile enviroment" factor being complete crap. Where does a baby's penis spend most of its time? answer: In a freaking diaper! hello people, no air, but plenty of urine and feces. Not so great for healing wounds. Not to mention having your childs intoduction to the world be one of trauma and pain. Male circumscion is a scar left on modern society by the misguided past.
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