I recently received a very interesting piercing question from a piercer who is unsure of what to do when it becomes clear that a client is getting genital piercings for the experience of being pierced, and who does not really want to wear jewelry:
I have a 74-year-old gentleman who early last week came in and requested 4 8 gauge frenum piercings and an 8 gauge prince albert. Anatomy was suitable for the frenums but not quite for the P.A. so I made him aware and performed that piercing at a 10 gauge instead.
Everything was well and good, he was a more than satisfied client and went on his way. 3 days later he came in again and had taken them all out and wanted them all performed again. The P.A. was easily tapered back open and was not in need of a repierce. To redo the Frenums I just offset them a safe distance from the previous spots and re pierced them. The fact that he had had the procedure performed and then taken them out and had them redone within 3 days raised a few questions in my mind but i decided that I had no reason to not believe him when he said that he had just gotten frustrated with them so he took them out and realized doing so was a mistake.
Today, however, the gentleman came in to the shop again (3 days after the re-pierce, 6 days after the initial procedure) and had taken them all out again and wanted them re pierced yet again.
I told him that we needed to wait a few weeks at least before we performed the procedure again to allow the area to heal a decent and safe amount to be re punctured. After I told him this he began asking me questions on tattoos and asked if the word "SLAVE" could be tattooed along the shaft of his genitalia. After speaking and working with him it has become clear to me that the gentleman is using the piercing procedure as a form of 'getting off' so to speak even though he doesn't come right out and say that it is.
I don't have a problem with people being into what would seem strange or kinky to most, I don't judge anyone for any reason because who am I to judge? The dilemma I am left with is this: do I continue to work on this man knowing that he has ulterior sexual motives?
Although he has never become sexually aroused during the procedures, is knowing that he is using the procedure as a sexual thing a reason to stop? He pays good money and even tips for the piercings but is he tipping me for piercing him or because to him it is something else? I personally almost feel like I am exploiting him by taking money for this at a rate that would be so frequent but at the same time he is willingly handing over the money to have it done again with a smile on his face. I am not quite sure how I should feel about all of this.
Is it wrong to accept payment for something that i am aware he is using as sexual in nature? He has never given me a problem or made me feel personally uncomfortable in any way what so ever but does that make it okay to do? His visits are 100% professional on both sides and it is me just performing a piercing which is my job and passion so does that make it okay?
I guess I'm not quite sure exactly what I'm looking for from you I just didn't know who else to turn to. As long as I perform the procedures safely, with his health in mind, and everything stays professional does it make it okay to do or is it wrong to pierce him with the knowledge that it is almost like his sexual fetish? This may seem like a strange question but like I said I just don't know where else to turn. Thank you so much. S.
You're asking the right person. I've dealt with this kind of situation in the past. You're going to need to decide for yourself what feels comfortable to you. Let me preface the rest of this message by clarifying that I'm definitely NOT judgmental about such matters and fully respect each individual's right to do as they please with their own body.
For ME specifically: I feel that my job is to pierce and insert jewelry with the intention of the piercings being at least semi-permanent (if not permanent). After the third time jewelry was removed, I personally have declined to pierce again. There are professional doms and dominatrixes who specialize in this type of activity (temporary/play piercings) and I feel this is more in line with their job duties. And he might also enjoy it even more if it were in a structured BDSM experience.
I've explained to such clients that my job is permanent piercings, and since that clearly isn't what they were seeking, I refused to further participate but wish them well and will suggest professionals who can better fulfill their needs if I know any in the area.
If you decide you do want to participate, there is nothing wrong with that, though I would caution you about doing such large piercings in the same areas. They are apt to create more scar tissue than smaller punctures. If you like you can negotiate with him about whether you even want to put jewelry in or if he wants to just come in for a piercing session. However you decide to do it is up to you.
Just be direct with him and make sure your boundaries and preferences on handling the situation are clear. And remember, you're in charge.
Elayne Angel, Author
The Piercing Bible--The Definitive Guide to Safe Body Piercing
President, Association of Professional Piercers